The Inspiration
Witnessing the treatment Deb received, on two occasions, whilst sectioned on a psychiatric ward due to mania/psychosis left me and Deb with the absolute conviction that not only should there be an alternative to hospital ( for many a hospital environment is detrimental to the emotional trauma they are experiencing, resulting in the medical opinion that more and stronger medications need to be prescribed), but also that a Section and all it entails - very often - involves breaches of the most fundamental of human rights and what should be seen as criminal/unlawful acts against the person as well as their friends and family. My instincts – and attempts to empathize with what she experienced – told me that the whole episode would have been far less traumatic and no more long lived, if not shorter and less extreme ( as well as actually having the potential of resulting in positive personal and spiritual growth), with the right support a quiet and secluded woodland area would be a far more therapeutic environment, With this initial idea I began to investigate whether anything similar existed here or abroad, how much woodland cost and how to raise the money to buy some, but most importantly how to turn a rather naive idea into a viable proposition. The positive discoveries included Soteria and The Lammas Community in Wales and their low-impact dwellings; the problems to be solved included planning regulations, health and safety, plus the pharmaceutical industry and the ways in which they protect government policies and agenda’s. So the idea grew and The Root And Branch Project evolved into what is now a somewhat bigger, but truly viable and possibly self funding concept in the long term.
Deb's Story
Terror and despair at the glimmer of the realisation that it had all gone too far and I was being taken by ambulance to the psychiatric ward again. I’d been sectioned before and although deeply immersed in an altered state I sensed what was ahead…
The third time I was sectioned I believed all would be well as my partner was with me, it all felt positive until I was injected and put in seclusion on arrival at the unit….then the incarceration.
The last time, the fourth time, at the Police station with the psychiatrist, realising again there was no alternative, I would be sectioned again - I had broken the agreement to stay within fixed boundaries- and what choice did they or I have? All choice gone. Disempowered. A sense of personal disempowerment confirmed and compounded by the procedures and experiences of being in hospital under the present day psychiatric system.
Helpless. The beauty and wealth of it all in terms of growth and transformation, lost in a system and society that in parts doesn’t care to understand the outpouring of the contents of the nether regions of the mind experienced in psychosis.
The horror and trauma of being pinned down, forcibly injected, the soul shattering moment of submission despite the, what feels like a fight for life, followed by being locked in isolation in seclusion. It felt like punishment and had a long term damaging effect.
The boredom and restriction of being on a locked ward with little to do.
The brilliance and devastation of psychosis and mania:-Feelings of Beauty, wildness, freedom, connection to nature, creativity, power, universal connection, synchronicities, love, visions, elevation, combined with the dark emergence of the shadow:- destruction, deconstruction, visions of hell, together with emergence and re birth.
It felt like a psychic scream- everything that was held under let loose in a wild, chaotic and primitive way. When in this state I absolutely felt I was ‘In My Power’.
How could it have been different?
A circle of compassionate people holding the space, twenty four hours…remaining centred, not being pulled into the dramas created by myself. Allowing, talking, hearing. Somewhere in nature. The desire to be in touch with nature was extremely important to me. Away from the stimulation of society and it’s content. For me: lots of painting, drumming, dancing, ritualising, sitting by an open fire eating nurturing food. Feeling part of something bigger. Sleeping when I could, held, bathed in care and acceptance. Singing, laughing, crying. Having the journey documented for future reference.
Burying my feet in the soil, taking baths, doing what I needed to do to feel ‘grounded’. ‘Bizarre’ behaviour being accepted as part of the process. All my ‘bizarre’ behaviour had a rationale for me.
Such a strong sense of wanting to connect with nature and relinquish man made constructs. To observe the patterns and behaviour of birds and animals and to derive earthly meaning from everything that was going on. To hear the messages. To feel the earths pulse.
It was all wasted in the hospital environment apart from the bonds and connections of mutual support formed with others locked up in there.
Feeling the energies of people and the building, how different this would be in a forest or by a stream.
For there to be no fear of the “mad” but replaced with respect, equality and honouring of the individual in this precious state.
No one seemed to want to know what was occurring for me. I was only observed and sedated to the degree that I became ‘manageable’ and apparently headed in the direction of ‘normality’.
Witnessing the treatment Deb received, on two occasions, whilst sectioned on a psychiatric ward due to mania/psychosis left me and Deb with the absolute conviction that not only should there be an alternative to hospital ( for many a hospital environment is detrimental to the emotional trauma they are experiencing, resulting in the medical opinion that more and stronger medications need to be prescribed), but also that a Section and all it entails - very often - involves breaches of the most fundamental of human rights and what should be seen as criminal/unlawful acts against the person as well as their friends and family. My instincts – and attempts to empathize with what she experienced – told me that the whole episode would have been far less traumatic and no more long lived, if not shorter and less extreme ( as well as actually having the potential of resulting in positive personal and spiritual growth), with the right support a quiet and secluded woodland area would be a far more therapeutic environment, With this initial idea I began to investigate whether anything similar existed here or abroad, how much woodland cost and how to raise the money to buy some, but most importantly how to turn a rather naive idea into a viable proposition. The positive discoveries included Soteria and The Lammas Community in Wales and their low-impact dwellings; the problems to be solved included planning regulations, health and safety, plus the pharmaceutical industry and the ways in which they protect government policies and agenda’s. So the idea grew and The Root And Branch Project evolved into what is now a somewhat bigger, but truly viable and possibly self funding concept in the long term.
Deb's Story
Terror and despair at the glimmer of the realisation that it had all gone too far and I was being taken by ambulance to the psychiatric ward again. I’d been sectioned before and although deeply immersed in an altered state I sensed what was ahead…
The third time I was sectioned I believed all would be well as my partner was with me, it all felt positive until I was injected and put in seclusion on arrival at the unit….then the incarceration.
The last time, the fourth time, at the Police station with the psychiatrist, realising again there was no alternative, I would be sectioned again - I had broken the agreement to stay within fixed boundaries- and what choice did they or I have? All choice gone. Disempowered. A sense of personal disempowerment confirmed and compounded by the procedures and experiences of being in hospital under the present day psychiatric system.
Helpless. The beauty and wealth of it all in terms of growth and transformation, lost in a system and society that in parts doesn’t care to understand the outpouring of the contents of the nether regions of the mind experienced in psychosis.
The horror and trauma of being pinned down, forcibly injected, the soul shattering moment of submission despite the, what feels like a fight for life, followed by being locked in isolation in seclusion. It felt like punishment and had a long term damaging effect.
The boredom and restriction of being on a locked ward with little to do.
The brilliance and devastation of psychosis and mania:-Feelings of Beauty, wildness, freedom, connection to nature, creativity, power, universal connection, synchronicities, love, visions, elevation, combined with the dark emergence of the shadow:- destruction, deconstruction, visions of hell, together with emergence and re birth.
It felt like a psychic scream- everything that was held under let loose in a wild, chaotic and primitive way. When in this state I absolutely felt I was ‘In My Power’.
How could it have been different?
A circle of compassionate people holding the space, twenty four hours…remaining centred, not being pulled into the dramas created by myself. Allowing, talking, hearing. Somewhere in nature. The desire to be in touch with nature was extremely important to me. Away from the stimulation of society and it’s content. For me: lots of painting, drumming, dancing, ritualising, sitting by an open fire eating nurturing food. Feeling part of something bigger. Sleeping when I could, held, bathed in care and acceptance. Singing, laughing, crying. Having the journey documented for future reference.
Burying my feet in the soil, taking baths, doing what I needed to do to feel ‘grounded’. ‘Bizarre’ behaviour being accepted as part of the process. All my ‘bizarre’ behaviour had a rationale for me.
Such a strong sense of wanting to connect with nature and relinquish man made constructs. To observe the patterns and behaviour of birds and animals and to derive earthly meaning from everything that was going on. To hear the messages. To feel the earths pulse.
It was all wasted in the hospital environment apart from the bonds and connections of mutual support formed with others locked up in there.
Feeling the energies of people and the building, how different this would be in a forest or by a stream.
For there to be no fear of the “mad” but replaced with respect, equality and honouring of the individual in this precious state.
No one seemed to want to know what was occurring for me. I was only observed and sedated to the degree that I became ‘manageable’ and apparently headed in the direction of ‘normality’.